How to deal with rejections?
   
We all have faced rejections at some point of time, haven’t we? Rejection can come to us in the form of non-selection in team activities like sports, debate, dance or theatre, occasional ignorance from a close friend, friends not liking our Facebook posts or a strict “NO” reply while proposing to our crush. Apart from these minor circumstances, we are affected by more intense rejections such as cheating, separation from a spouse, gender discrimination in the workplace and the interference of family and society in their lifestyle choices. All these situations are extremely painful to deal with and often gives rise to the very “I’M NOT WANTED” kind of feeling. While some people have the strength to accept these rejections and move ahead with their lives, others have a tough time acknowledging a rejection and it is not at all that easy. 
Why does rejection affect people and why are they unable to get over it? 
Why is it that a seemingly trivial incident like liking a post on social media matters so much to an adolescent kid? Why for an adult the acceptance of their life choices by their families matters so much? Why does rejection make us feel so low and angry about ourselves?
To answer the question of why we feel rejected, evolutionary psychologists have made an interesting comparison that dates back to the primitive age of hunters and gatherers. When people lived in a tribe, they had a strong urge of staying put with their respective clans because getting ostracized by the tribe is as bad as getting a death sentence. People in a tribe most often remained submissive to a leader because of this fear of exclusion. As a result, later people developed a particular evolutionary mechanism of mental alertness whenever they’re on the verge of rejection. As time progressed and people became more civilized, they no longer remained dependent on a tribe. However, the need for belongingness and the fear of rejection from a friend zone, neighbourhood and society, in general, remained constant. In present times, rejection arises mostly in our own minds. For instance when a romantic partner leaves or when our inputs are not appreciated in the workplace, or when we are denied a position we think we deserve, we go on damaging our self-esteem further by blaming, by pointing out our weaknesses, by hating ourselves and by giving up on trying. No matter how big or small the rejection is, it always hurts.
Psychological problems arising out of long term rejection-
Response to physical pain: Studies have shown that our brain reacts to physical pain the same way it reacts to social rejection. An MRI study has shown that a particular area of our brain becomes active when people feel physical pain and the same activation happens when humans feel rejected.
Low IQ: Long term or ongoing rejection may pave the way to the fear of rejection. When children are ignored by a teacher or a coach or in case of classroom favouritism, the chances of them succeeding in academics, sports and social life slowly keeps reducing. As a result, rejected students show less interest in studies and develop a low IQ compared to others.
Increase in stress, anxiety and depression: The prevailing stress, anxiety and depression of an individual act as an amplifier to experiences related to rejection and vice versa.
Violent behaviour: Some studies have shown that a child neglected by familial love and affection often grows as a violent and cruel minded human being bringing pain and abuses to their spouses and children later in life.
Here are 5 effective ways to overcome rejection:
  1. Accept the reality: It is quite hard to accept the reality. The fact that we are being rejected is a hard pill to digest. But it is important to remember that no matter what the reason is, the rejection or ignorance that we are facing is coming from outside and it’s not our fault. Blaming ourselves for a situation is only going to prolong the pain.
  2. Let your pain out: Instead of suppressing your emotions by faking a smile and forcing optimism admit that you’re unhappy. By acknowledging your problems you can work out the solutions on your own.
  3. Look at the bright side: Instead of being engrossed at what you have lost, focus on the brighter and bigger aspects of life. Reading biographies and watching biopics of successful people is a great way to overcome the grief of rejection. All great people were ignored at some point in their lives, some were even banished for their innovative approaches but they had a strong determination to overcome these hardships. 
  4. Don’t stay idle: Dealing with rejections is not easy. In case you’re feeling demotivated to work then take a break. Go out on a vacation that you always wanted to. But go solo. Solo trips help us to reunite with our inner thoughts and make us realise our self-worth.
  5. Get help: Sometimes we may not understand what we should do. If nothing works for you and you’re feeling hopeless then take suggestions from people who are close to you as parents, friends and teachers. You can also consult a psychologist and discuss your problems. Therapy in such cases is proved to be more beneficial than anything else.

Conclusion: 
Life could be difficult at times. As human beings, we want to be accepted in every aspect of our life, be it our choice of friends, life partners, lifestyle, career choices and so on. However, a rejection in our path may leave us devastated. The disapproval of other people is not in our hands but we can choose not to let any rejection define who we are.